Ferris Buellers Day Off Super Bowl Commercial?!

Ferris Bueller has returned! Sadly its just for a Super Bowl commercial spot, but still, if this is as close as we can ever get to seeing Matthew Broderick return to this role, then I will take it. And we can also hold out hope that the commercial goes over huge and they decide to round up the rest of the cast and fire out a sequel. Below is the teaser for the commercial which is the greatest 10 seconds I have ever seen on YouTube, the full commercial will be revealed on Monday, and of course can be seen during the Super Bowl.

Chuck Norris is a pussy. Expendables 2 rated PG-13.

For the love of crap. Seriously? This world is getting more pussified as it spins. Today it was revealed that, Chuck Norris, got all butt hurt that kids couldn't see The Expendables 2, because it had a bunch of bad asses cussing at each other, so he asked to remove all the swearing from the script...

Really?

So, they can kill the crap out of people, but just don't call them a bad word? Really? REALLY?

Here is what Chuck Norris and his vagina had to say....

In Expendables 2, there was a lot of vulgar dialogue in the screenplay. For this reason, many young people wouldn’t be able to watch this. But I don’t play in movies like this. Due to that I said I won’t be a part of that if the hardcore language is not erased. Producers accepted my conditions and the movie will be classified in the category of PG-13.

Wow. So, if that was the case, why not find someone else to play his role in the movie? Why not hang up on Walker Delaware Ranger and call up good pal Carl Weathers and say HEY CARL! YOU'RE IN! And then we'd have someone just as bad ass, and a sweet hard R rated action movie. Instead we now have Chuck Twilight Norris calling people buttheads and stuff. Fantastic!

And here is what Stallone had to say...

the film is fantastic with Van Damme turning in an inspired performance... Our final battle is one for the ages. The PG13 rumor is true, but before your readers pass judgement, trust me when I say this film is LARGE in every way and delivers on every level. This movie touches on many emotions which we want to share with the broadest audience possible, BUT, fear not, this Barbeque of Grand scale Ass Bashing will not leave anyone hungry...Sly

Wow...just wow. So we can forget all of the great jokes made when the first movie came out. Remember ones like, "You have to kill and drink an animals blood in order to get tickets to Expendables." Or "You have to be involved in a fist fight before you can enter the theatre." Or "Instead of popcorn and soda, theatres will be serving raw steak and whiskey for Expendables." Now I guess we can say, "You have to be a Avon subscriber in order to see Expendables 2." Or "You have to have seen all Twilight movies in order to see Expendables 2."

Ugh, just UGH. Chuck Norris is dead to me.

Certified Bullshit: Blue Ivy Carter

So Beyonce had her kid.  Now all the sites that have been watching for a fake stomach pad to fall out of Beyonce's shirt can maybe find a life, then again they will probably just move on to adoption conspiracies etc.  My point of today's Certified Bullshit is the fact that people have kids every minute of every day, yet this birth is being treated like the second coming of Christ.....and it's stupid.

Now this isn't anything against Jay Z or Beyonce, both are icons in music and no one can doubt their success.  It's not even the fact that they paid a million bucks for a whole floor of a hospital to have this kid in.  They're rich as all hell, so why not spend on a whole hospital floor if that's what they want to do.  This is more of a rant on this infatuation the public has with celebrity babies.  There are celebrity parents selling the rights to publish their kid's first pics to whatever magazine and people are dying to know what these kids look like.  The real newsflash here, most babies look like.........babies.  It's not like Blue Ivy Carter is going to come out rapping or performing the latest Beyonce song.  The Internet was taken over as soon as news broke that Beyonce finally gave birth, and it hasn't slowed down since with rumors, lawsuits, and just general bullshitting about this kid. 

Blue Ivy Carter is already a celebrity whether she likes it or not.  Apparently the kid crying is already in a new Jay Z song.  I just don't see the infatuation.  It's a baby, cool, congrats.  It's not going to change any of your lives, nor are Jay Z or Beyonce going to thank you personally for caring so much.  So if you are spending your day engulfed in the latest Blue Ivy Carter news, you need a life instead of spending your day with some Certified Bullshit.

Certified Bullshit: Teen Mom

I've been thinking about starting this series for a while now, pretty much because there are so many things in the world that completely suck and deserve the label of "bullshit."  I think my Kardashian post was along these same lines, but now there is a new breed of talentless "celebrity" that got famous solely because they were whoring around as teenagers and got knocked up.  That's right, today we are certifying MTV's Teen Mom as bullshit.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of documentaries.  When this whole concept began as "16 and pregnant," I got the premise.  A show that documents how some idiot 16 year olds got knocked up and how their life sucks because of it might make at least a few young girls try to avoid such a life.  Some will say the show put too much spotlight on the idea of getting knocked up as a teenager and getting to be on TV for it.  I can see that point, but I think the idea of at least TRYING to deter girls from ruining their lives by giving them a glimpse of what it would be like made sense.  It wasn't until a couple of seasons of this did things take the wrong turn.

When this whole "Teen Mom" show came to be, it was basically picking out some of the knocked up 16 year olds from 16 and pregnant and continuing to follow their lives and idiotic decisions.  It was at this point that these girls became "celebrities" at least to the tabloids, and this show became just another soap opera fix.  None of these girls woke up and got their shit together, they all either end up in jail, found other guys to bang, or apparently even get knocked up again (with different fathers of course.)  These girls have turned the whole thing into just another show that people watch for the drama, break ups, make ups etc. 

If it wasn't for the fact that these girls and their drama are on every magazine and gossip site, who treat them as if they are actual celebrities then it wouldn't be so bad.  But like the Kardashians, the teen moms are everywhere and this show IS glorifying the idea of becoming a TV star just by getting knocked up just like these new "role models."  Is anyone learning anything from these morons anymore?  I think not.  None of them have turned their life around, and if any have then I assume they are the ones not being featured on the show.  

They are not celebrities, they are not role models, they made a dumb mistake and didn't smarten up even after the fact, no one is impressed or inspired,  there are no "true love stories" or anything they TRY to portray on the show, therefore we certify all of it, as BULLSHIT.

Bullies Bully. Parents Parent.

Not a week goes by that I don't read about some teen killing themselves because of bullies. They get bullied in school, go home, and kill themselves. Then I read for days afterwards how we need to rise up and stop bullying and all that mess.

Do we need to stop bullying?

NO.

People need to start PARENTING.

You know how long bullying has been around? Forever. Cavemen were probably bullies to other cavemen. And how many kids were killing themselves over bullying decades ago? None. Back in the 90s, you rarely heard about teen suicides because they got made fun of in school. In fact bullying is helpful. It builds character. Hell I was bullied in school, did I go and kill myself? No. It built some character, and it made me a better person. Because I had good parents. I had parents that taught me to not give a crap what kids say, and that my families opinion, and my own opinion about myself was the only opinion that mattered.

More parents need to step up and take note. If your kid is coming home depressed out of their minds, talk to them, sit them down and figure out their problems. It's what youre supposed to do. Kids today are complete wusses. Seriously. And why? Because most parents today are useless. They do nothing with their kids, they don't try to get involved with their lives, they all just sit around and do their own thing and think everything is just dandy.

Bullies don't need to stop bullying. Parents need to start parenting. And schools need to step up. I know someone who had a kid that was constantly being bullied, and they reported it to the school, what did the school do? Nothing. Maybe its time we started protesting some schools to get their act together, instead of protesting a government because you aren't being treated fairly for crap you haven't worked for.